Review-a-day: Fantastic Four (1961-1998) #47

Posted: October 14, 2014 in Review-a-day
Tags: , , , , ,


What a difference a month manes. I’m not sure what exactly happened between issues 46 and 47, but… The previous two issues were so good. I was really looking forward to this issue, but almost one page one things started to just fall apart.

Where do I even began? Well, I guess I can let you all know that the death I referred to in issue #46, apparently not a thing. I suppose i should have known better than to think even minor characters were getting killed off in 1965. Now then, that little bit of info out of the way, let’s talk about the members of the FF, and how I pretty well hated each one of them this issue. Let’s start with the Thing as he was probably the least offensive. His crimes, being boring, whiny and annoying. When he wasn’t throwing punches, which wasn’t actually all that often, all he did this issue was cry about being a horrible rock monster and hoping his blind girlfriend never learns what he really looks like. Next, we have the Human Torch. He may be a teenager, he may be immature, but did every word out of his mouth really need to be something to the effect of “I need to find Crystal.”? Honestly, I get it, love at first sight and all that, but he wasn’t even a character this issue, he was a walking, talking sometimes flaming and flying pile of love goop for a girl he’s barely had a conversation with. And that leaves us with our happy newlyweds. Well, maybe drop the “happy.” Mr. Fantastic was sporting the ever-personable “I’m the man, I’m the leader, shut up and do what I say woman” attitude throughout the issue. Seriously, that wasn’t a direct quote, but he came pretty close to it a couple times. For her part, the Invisible Woman (or was it still Invisible Girl at this point?) was in full “dumb blonde” mode. I’m not even trying to be mean here. What else am I supposed to call it. There was a point where she completely decided that her the solution to her problems with Mr. Fantastic (those being that he was being, how can I put this nicely, um, let’s go with weiner) was to, I’m not even kidding here, get a new hairdo. A new hairdo which she proceeds to show off by playing hide-and-seek with her unwitting teammates while the walk into an unknown civilization full of superpowered being, because she didn’t realize it was that dangerous. And then she ends things with the uber-empowering “You don’t need to tell me what to do Johnny, I’m already doing the thing that Reed told me to do.” But wait there’s more! You may remember me expecting to have a lot to say about Dragon Man relating to this issue. Nope, he’s down and out within the first third of the book. The unstoppable Dragon Man, put down in Johnny Storm’s own words, “by a severe case of sunstroke.” But what about the Inhumans? Well, we meet Maximus this issue, and there’s a fight over a crown that amounts to Black Bolt taking it off Maximus’ head. And this is after the Inhumans ran back to the Great Refuge which, correct me if I’m wrong, is the exact place they were determined to not let the Seeker take them. Yeah.

I wish I had something good to say here. I really do, but I just don’t. This was just an absolute mess. It’s as if Stan Lee and Jack Kirby suddenly decided to make every character in the book either pointless or completely unlikable. It was a complete 180 from the last two issues. Hopefully they can turn things back around for the last issue in this set, but after this one, I’m not sure how much hope i have of that happening.


Score: 2.0

Written By: Stan Lee
Art By: Jack Kirby and Joe Sinnott
Letters By: Artie Simek
Price: $1.99 (on ComiXology)


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